Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Soap Spoof (Part 4)
Mark beats up a person before dropping him to the floor.
Simon: Right we’ve questioned everyone now and no one knows nothing.
Mark: Right, should we stop this siege then? The hostages are getting restless.
Long shot of the cast all tied up and gagged.
Simon: There is one person I haven’t questioned.
Mark: Who?
Simon: You!
Mark: You starting something?
They slap each other in the face and get into a fight.
Enter Mum
Mum: There’s nothing brotherly about this love.
Simon: Mum!
Mark: Mum!
Simon: Jesus Christ your alive-again!
Mum: Yes I’ve resurrected myself. Nah I was never dead in the first place.
Mark: How?
Mum: I faked my own death in Europe and came home to regain the family business. I did this by rekindling my secret love affair with Conan.
Conan: That was Conan’s secret! Conan will never live this down, Conan will have his revenge!
Conan storms out.
Mum: Yes I used him to get the family business back and I brought my sons closer together in doing so. (HUGS THEM) From now on everything is gona be good.
Enter the Police
Policeman 1: Mrs ____?
Mum: Yes
Policeman 1: I’m Inspector Moose, Sonill police station. You’re under arrest. We smashed your porn ring earlier today.
Simon: Not the family business!
Policeman 1: Yes, the family business, porn and obscene porn at that. Oh Mrs Turner you’re also under arrest for impersonating the living.
Mum: Not again!
Simon: Right we’ve questioned everyone now and no one knows nothing.
Mark: Right, should we stop this siege then? The hostages are getting restless.
Long shot of the cast all tied up and gagged.
Simon: There is one person I haven’t questioned.
Mark: Who?
Simon: You!
Mark: You starting something?
They slap each other in the face and get into a fight.
Enter Mum
Mum: There’s nothing brotherly about this love.
Simon: Mum!
Mark: Mum!
Simon: Jesus Christ your alive-again!
Mum: Yes I’ve resurrected myself. Nah I was never dead in the first place.
Mark: How?
Mum: I faked my own death in Europe and came home to regain the family business. I did this by rekindling my secret love affair with Conan.
Conan: That was Conan’s secret! Conan will never live this down, Conan will have his revenge!
Conan storms out.
Mum: Yes I used him to get the family business back and I brought my sons closer together in doing so. (HUGS THEM) From now on everything is gona be good.
Enter the Police
Policeman 1: Mrs ____?
Mum: Yes
Policeman 1: I’m Inspector Moose, Sonill police station. You’re under arrest. We smashed your porn ring earlier today.
Simon: Not the family business!
Policeman 1: Yes, the family business, porn and obscene porn at that. Oh Mrs Turner you’re also under arrest for impersonating the living.
Mum: Not again!
