Saturday, April 08, 2006
NY Spoof Newspaper Article
NY Terrorist Attack Defeated!
New York 03/03 –
America is on a Red Terror Alert after an international incident.
A terrorist attack has been foiled by American security personnel. The World famous Ellis Island Ferry was to be the target, an American symbol. The terrorist tried to smuggle a weapon on board the ferry which could have potentially endangered hundreds of lives. Security staff bravely neutralised the situation before the American public could be put in major danger.
The terrorist tried to smuggle aboard a dangerous pair of scissors cleverly disguised within a British “First Aid Box” but the disguise was futile as patriotic American metal detectors quickly detected it. The NYPD CTU said they were searching for a suspected suspect who went by the name of “Fernando”. Police appealed to the public to search for Fernando and set up a special incident line for anyone who is suspicious or who has any information (9112001).
The suspect was disguised as a teacher from a school in England, Europe but suspicion was soon aroused by security staff as no school children were in sight. Later it was revealed that there was an English school party aboard to who Fernando had tried to associate with. Police are interested to question the school party as they may have more information on Fernando. Several other lines of enquiry are being pursued including unconfirmed reports of a suspicious Welsh woman and a suspected communist in a Russian hat being on the boat. The CIA are now investigating possible connections with the incident to Iraq. Leads are also being followed after a possible connection to the Great Tonbridge Robbery, England where $92 million was stolen. Passengers overheard three young males who allegedly were from the village talking of how they were going to spend the money.
The terrorist managed to escape onto the boat scissorless from where they made their escape. Police lost the terrorist in the resulting chase. The boat they were on could have gone anywhere although they were keen to trace a boat which was called “Ellis Island Ferry” even though its final destination was unknown. The lead went cold as Police do not know where the terrorist went. Reports from the public flooded in a few hours later as a “Fernandez” was reported on the subway heading towards Times Square. Police dismissed this as a hoax caller who was found out after speaking of a posh Englishman rapping on the subway.
After hearing of the incident President Bush promised to use the full force of the Patriot Act. Anyone in America called Fernando or with a Hispanic background will be arrested indefinitely. The President himself was taken to a top secret nuclear bunker under Camp David. George W Bush was to be arrested earlier in the day for starting an “illegal” war in Iraq but after the events in New York yesterday he was cleared as the CIA tried to link the incident with Iraq, Al-Queda and Osama Bin Laden. Rising numbers of these terrorist incidents give indisputable evidence that the terrorist threat is growing. Security is set to be re-tightened as all foreigners will be quarantined until they are found innocent of any wrong doing.
New York 03/03 –
America is on a Red Terror Alert after an international incident.
A terrorist attack has been foiled by American security personnel. The World famous Ellis Island Ferry was to be the target, an American symbol. The terrorist tried to smuggle a weapon on board the ferry which could have potentially endangered hundreds of lives. Security staff bravely neutralised the situation before the American public could be put in major danger.
The terrorist tried to smuggle aboard a dangerous pair of scissors cleverly disguised within a British “First Aid Box” but the disguise was futile as patriotic American metal detectors quickly detected it. The NYPD CTU said they were searching for a suspected suspect who went by the name of “Fernando”. Police appealed to the public to search for Fernando and set up a special incident line for anyone who is suspicious or who has any information (9112001).
The suspect was disguised as a teacher from a school in England, Europe but suspicion was soon aroused by security staff as no school children were in sight. Later it was revealed that there was an English school party aboard to who Fernando had tried to associate with. Police are interested to question the school party as they may have more information on Fernando. Several other lines of enquiry are being pursued including unconfirmed reports of a suspicious Welsh woman and a suspected communist in a Russian hat being on the boat. The CIA are now investigating possible connections with the incident to Iraq. Leads are also being followed after a possible connection to the Great Tonbridge Robbery, England where $92 million was stolen. Passengers overheard three young males who allegedly were from the village talking of how they were going to spend the money.
The terrorist managed to escape onto the boat scissorless from where they made their escape. Police lost the terrorist in the resulting chase. The boat they were on could have gone anywhere although they were keen to trace a boat which was called “Ellis Island Ferry” even though its final destination was unknown. The lead went cold as Police do not know where the terrorist went. Reports from the public flooded in a few hours later as a “Fernandez” was reported on the subway heading towards Times Square. Police dismissed this as a hoax caller who was found out after speaking of a posh Englishman rapping on the subway.
After hearing of the incident President Bush promised to use the full force of the Patriot Act. Anyone in America called Fernando or with a Hispanic background will be arrested indefinitely. The President himself was taken to a top secret nuclear bunker under Camp David. George W Bush was to be arrested earlier in the day for starting an “illegal” war in Iraq but after the events in New York yesterday he was cleared as the CIA tried to link the incident with Iraq, Al-Queda and Osama Bin Laden. Rising numbers of these terrorist incidents give indisputable evidence that the terrorist threat is growing. Security is set to be re-tightened as all foreigners will be quarantined until they are found innocent of any wrong doing.
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